


Tea & Awareness at 3am

by shapechanger



Series: Late Nights and Early Mornings [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 15:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7177310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shapechanger/pseuds/shapechanger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus has insomnia and stumbles upon Tonks, freshly returned from a mission. Quiet shared over tea, injuries tended, and the first forming strands of undeniable chemistry that Remus is struggling to ignore.</p><p>(Timeline circa Order of the Phoenix and afterwards, though a slightly different spin on events that may be involved therein. This begins pre-relationship.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tea & Awareness at 3am

It was three in the morning. Remus Lupin should have, by all rights, been asleep. Insomnia, unwelcome but familiar, had found him hours before when he tried without success to settle into blankets, eyes closing to no avail. Every small creak rattled his nerves, senses far sharper this close to the moon, only three nights away, and all the more difficult to ignore than usual. The rain pattered on the roof, rushing in the gutters past his window, held at bay by the recent repairs to keep the building in order. Remus knew that if he looked out of the window, he’d see nothing but a blur, water staining glass and distorting the world into odd, disconcerting shapes and shadows.

Having resigned himself to the fact that he wasn’t going to be getting any rest, he had stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before eventually drawing himself from bed. Weary but mind thrumming, as though the strings of it were being plucked by fingers, an instrument at someone else’s command besides his, he descended the stairs. If his mind was going to chase itself in circles, he might as well turn it to a useful purpose over a cup of tea.

The door was ajar when Remus reached the kitchen, causing him to frown in consternation; even with the odd hours many members of the Order kept, it wasn't often he ran into anyone else at this time. Leaning in the doorway, it took him only seconds to identify who was in there. What met his gaze was one drenched, lavender-haired Auror, scratch on her cheek bleeding profusely and streaked with dirt, silently pulling off her boots in front of the fire. From his side-long view of the way that her jaw was clenched, she was gritting her teeth in clear discomfort as she did so. Frozen in place for only a second, Remus moved closer in one fluid shift, steps soundless in his socks. "Tonks," he said, voice soft.

Seconds later, he found himself at the business end of her wand, reflexively drawn and pointed at him without even a thought. Tonks was on her feet almost instantly despite what it must have cost her, eyes narrowed and focused. Locked on target, not yet seeing that the person at the other end wasn’t a threat. She relaxed slowly, inch by inch, when he closed fingers around her wrist. Human contact, or the closest thing that he could offer to bring her back from the running flashes of combat, of running and spinning and firing off spells with seconds to spare. It wasn't the first time one of them had been jumpy in the aftermath of a fight, and tonight had evidently been a bad one. 

His pulse wasn't racing, no fear of her despite his knowledge of her abilities. Hers was, unsteady beneath his fingers, skin damp from the rain, and Remus released the touch as she gave an indication of lowering her wand. In one of her few movements that could be described as consciously graceful outside of battle, the wand was stowed back into the sheath at her thigh, locked firmly into place beneath the longer robes of her Auror uniform. "Wotcher, Remus," she said, voice low and hoarse, before she let herself sink down with a pronounced _bump_ into a nearby chair. "Sorry about that."

"Rough night?" The query came without him really expecting an answer, obvious as it was, Remus leaning down and moving the boots out of Tonks' way. A surreptitious flick of his wand freed them of most of the mud and small stones and odd pieces of greenery ( _where did they send her tonight?_ ), would leave them dry within minutes.

"Nah, it was a party," Tonks quipped, reached and scruffed up a few damp strands of her hair in a decidedly weary fashion. "Some kind of likely looking dark magic hidey-hole in Wales, behind a natural waterfall, no less. A few of us got sent to go check out what was in there." She winced when she shifted in her seat, pressed fingertips against her knee. "We were supposed to go in, get our information and clear out before we were spotted. Needless to say, it didn't go to plan because we didn't have all the details that we needed ahead of time." She exhaled in clear irritation. "One of our merry foursome is still in St. Mungo's, though apparently he'll be right as rain-" she gave a dirty look towards the windows as an inappropriately timed flash of lightning accompanied her words, "-in a few days, and good to go back on duty."

Remus didn't scowl, but he was certain that the expression on his face was relatively close at that moment. _Well, that explains the greenery and the stones._ "What was in there?" he asked, moved to the small store of firewood, fed a few extra pieces into the fire once obtained, in an attempt to make her more comfortable, or at least warmer. Another swift wave of his wand in her direction accompanied it in order to begin drying out her clothes; it wouldn't entirely fix the problem given how drenched she was, but he rather thought it might improve things at least a little. She shot him a look of gratitude, looking too tired to have even thought to do so herself.

"Blood wards, and a lot of them, to protect the stuff deeper into the cave and the meeting place at the back. The chap that's in Mungo’s hit the first one, it threw him into the wall or he'd be in far worse condition than he is. We got through them, but we had company by the time that we did." She pointed at the scratch on her cheek. "Rather grim-looking fellow, decided I’d be better off with a few improvements to my appearance, apparently, but also made the mistake of thinking that I wasn't going to be a nuisance. Set his shoes on fire before he could call anything _else_ dangerous to come and attempt at eating us, then hit him with a Stunner between the eyes." She pinched the bridge of her nose, as though trying to keep a headache at bay. "There was some kind of cross-bred manticore back there and Merlin knows what else. The incident report's going to be a nightmare to compile."

Though Remus' lips twitched at the mention of the fact that she’d set her opponent's shoes on fire, he moved over to the nearby counter and pulled out the top drawer, where healing salves and things of similar ilk were stored for such situations. Tonks didn't bother to hide her wince at the gesture, knowing what was coming next. "Might be better if I do it, Remus. If just walking into a room has me pulling a wand on you, don't think you disinfecting this cut is going to be much of an improvement."

"If I have to, Tonks, I’ll cast a Full Body-Bind on you to keep you still, so let me get that cut dealt with. You won’t be able to do it yourself without going upstairs and getting a mirror," he replied, not thinking the words through before he spoke them. It took a moment before Remus realised how they could be interpreted in a far more suggestive light ( _Sirius' influence, damn_ ), saw the flash of amusement on Tonks' face as she clearly came to the same conclusion, but remained silent. 

Thankful that she had apparently decided not to tease him mercilessly for the slip the way that Sirius would have, if he were awake ( _and thank Merlin that he isn't_ ), he obtained the necessary antiseptic and a few cotton pads, soaked one and began to dab as gently as possible at her cheek. She didn't make a sound as he carefully cleaned away dirt and grit, tiny pieces that must have hurt, lingering as they were. Once his hand stilled, she let out a long exhale of breath in a rush, and it was only then that he realised the muscles in her forearms had been tense against the sting, fingers gripping the arms of the chair. "That’s the worst over, not much more," Remus said, voice still low, a soothing quality to it. Reaching for one of the healing salves, this he applied carefully to the edges of the cut with his fingertips, watched it begin to close. It would be a thin white line by sunrise, perhaps not even that.

"You know, feel lucky that you'd even get close enough to hit me with a Body-Bind. Most would get punched in the solar-plexus so hard they'd feel in their toes before they could draw their wand," Tonks said conversationally.

Amused, Remus raised his eyes to look at her more directly as he finished his work on the cut, only realising in that instant exactly how close they were. It had been easy to forget, ignore even, while he was healing her, focused upon necessity, but now he was starkly aware of it, thoughts pin-wheeling for a moment before he reordered them. She was studying him, eyes resting on his face. "Or well, usually I'd think a throat strike might be more effective, but given our height difference, solar plexus might have to do in a pinch." That made him blink, not used to being analysed as a potential combatant, or at least not by her. "A throat strike?"

"Yeah. You hit someone here-" she reached out and touched two fingers directly in the hollow of his throat, a small space above his collarbones, "-hard enough, and they start to cough reflexively, and it hurts like hell. Works as a painful diversion. Swiped it from Muggle martial arts, forget which one."

"Remind me to stay on your good side, Tonks," Remus said, smiling to cover the fact that his pulse, previously steady, had begun to waver under her touch, platonic though it was. _I pity the fool who underestimates you, Nymphadora Tonks, though you hate your first name and trip over umbrella stands with incredible frequency and will quite possibly be buying shares in Honeydukes in the future. I’ve seen you fight._ She was one of the few people who touched him so casually, but she was the _only_ person whose touch he reacted to like this.

A soft laugh greeted him in response, Tonks withdrawing her hand, the brush of her fingers leaving a trace amount of heat in their wake despite being cold, the contrast strange but oddly welcome. _Cold._ "You should go and get out of your robes, sitting in those isn't going to do much good," he said. "I'll make some tea, it'll warm you through a bit too." Turning towards where the kettle and the tea things were, Remus reached up to rummage through the cupboard and find the brightly coloured mug that she favoured. It was a cheerful thing, striped in vivid pink and blue, slightly chipped from being mended often, and recognisably _Tonks_ in every respect. Filling the kettle from the tap and setting the hob beneath it to burn, he dropped a teabag into each cup, knowing it would be faster at this time of night than making a whole pot of a tea. Fingers caught the cold glass bottle of milk from the modified Muggle fridge that Sirius had installed with his help, tipped a little into each one, then added a teaspoonful of sugar to both as well. As an afterthought, he added a second to Tonks'. _Her blood sugar will be low, if she's been doing mass amounts of wand-work, I don’t imagine she's eaten much. When did she last eat?_

The worried train of thought was effectively interrupted by the soft _flump_ sound of wet material hitting the floor, leading to the realisation that Tonks had apparently taken him quite literally at his word about getting out of the robes. It was quite obvious that she was too tired to care and had assumed (rightly) that Remus would keep his back turned until she was done. Despite the fact that he knew the Auror uniform was layered, that she usually wore something else underneath it, the noise flustered him, kept his head bent down diligently over attending to the drinks. 

_Tea, Lupin_ , he reminded himself sharply, refocused his attention as the kettle came to a rolling boil on the hob, steam beginning to hiss out of the spout. Remus couldn't disregard what he was, as much as he wished it, and what he was currently had heightened senses, thanks to the damned moon, and that meant that he could still _hear_. He caught easily the faint shift of material, peeled from rain-damp skin (the memory of her wrist beneath his fingers), and his mind had no problem assigning a visual to what he heard within seconds, even if he couldn’t see anything. Faintly mortified at himself for even daring to stray that far (he hadn't had such thoughts since _school_ , they had no place here and now and certainly not with her, it was inappropriate to the situation), Remus pushed it aside and asked, "All done, Tonks?" calmly, voice giving nothing away as he finished preparing their tea.

"All done."

Safe in the knowledge that Tonks wouldn't usually say such a thing unless it was in fact the case (she had a mischievous streak, but it didn't tend to exercise itself post-mission), Remus turned around, lifting her mug to bring with him. What caused him to come to a halt wasn't what she was wearing (an old Weird Sisters t-shirt of her own, still damp despite the robes that had covered it, and a pair of navy blue pyjama trousers that she had purloined from a nearby stack of clean washing, rolled up at the ankles - _must belong to Sirius_ ), but the fact that he could now see the odd angle of padding at her left side that the robes had concealed. The way that she had clenched her jaw earlier while removing her boots now made sense, bending down as she had been in order to do so. _Ribs. Broken or bruised. Why didn't she say anything?_

"Why aren't you at Mungo's yourself?" Remus asked, handing her the cup carefully, paying mind to not spilling it. He didn't bother to clarify what he meant, he knew that she was aware of what he referred to.

"They're inundated and under-staffed, and there's really very little they can do for bruised ribs," Tonks replied, taking a long drink of the surely scorching tea without pausing even a moment to let it cool, showing no visible reaction to the heat besides a sigh of apparent gratitude. It was a habit that would have left Remus with a burned throat, one that she had acquired during early mornings of Auror training. "I've been slapping salve on them and binding them up myself for a couple days, but I got knocked about a bit tonight and I'm feeling it, that’s all." Setting the cup aside, she lifted the edge of her t-shirt a couple of inches, showing nothing but the layers of bandages and medical tape. "See? Completely bandaged to within an inch of my life."

Appraising her handiwork with a quick glance, Remus had to admit she'd done a decent job ( _must be the field medicine she picked up during training_ ). The bandages were thin enough that he could see the purple flower of bruising underneath, winced slightly at the sight of it. _Who made these marks happen? Was it the raid the other side of Islington at the start of this week?_ He leaned back in his chair as she let the material fall again, satisfied that she had made her point. "All right, but if those don't settle in a few days, Tonks, you need to have it looked at. They could be fractured." Slightly aware of the fact that he was lecturing her and hadn't meant to, Remus softened his voice. "Broken ribs are a lot less fun than bruised ones." He attended to his own tea, took a sip of it, confirming for himself that he wasn’t going to burn his mouth.

"I already know what broken ribs are like," Tonks replied, leaning back in her chair to regard him. "Had those before too, and managed those without help as well," she added, voice rather pointed.

"Yes. But now you don’t have to," he pointed out quietly.

Tonks looked slightly ashamed when she next spoke. "I'm sorry, Remus, it's been a long night, but that's not your fault. I shouldn't have been sharp with you."

Remus shook his head, reached out and touched light fingertips to her arm fleetingly before withdrawing his hand. "Think nothing of it, Tonks, I've sometimes been short with you in the run-up to the moon the last few months, and you didn't take offence." That at least was true enough, he'd outright snapped at her the first time that she'd been around for one, despite the fact that she hadn't done anything wrong; only to have Tonks shove some chocolate at him and matter of factly tell him to "Stuff it, Lupin," because she wasn't going anywhere until he was in less of a mood. Sirius, the only other person who wasn't especially bothered by the slow emergence of the wolf, hadn't even had the decency to hide his grin, sat in the nearby chair. Used to being given a certain amount of space around full moons, used to the wariness of others, the way that she'd settled on the sofa in the Grimmauld living room next to him and companionably tugged over the nearby chess set had disarmed him completely, chased back the tension that the moon's proximity sometimes wrought in his temper if he was already under considerable stress, quieted the ghost of the wolf between them.

"Still," she said, shaking her head. "That's different. Thank you. For the tea, and for being here. Even if you're awake at an ungodly hour because you can't sleep."

Caught, Remus looked at her, saw the observant gleam in eyes whose twinkle was a little dimmer than usual tonight. Remembered, somewhat belatedly, that he was in his version of sleepwear; an old t-shirt, ripped seam at the bottom, and simple grey pyjama trousers, worn thin and soft from being worn so often. For Tonks, who was extremely good at picking up on details at the best of times, it was hardly a difficult conclusion for her to draw. He shrugged his shoulders a little, took another drink of tea; closed his eyes and listened to the crackling of the fire and the soft sound of her breathing, the small catches when she breathed too deep and felt the discomfort of her ribs. "It happens, Tonks, but I'm glad for it tonight." He opened his eyes to find her still watching him. His own gaze lingered upon her just a span too long for it to be polite, dropped his eyes once he realised, though he caught the small smile on her lips out of the corner of his eye. _Agh._ "We should probably try to rest, though, both of us, once we’ve drank these." He gestured with his cup to punctuate the words, saw her agree with a nod that seemed to hold a certain amount of reluctance, or was he imagining it? No, Remus wasn’t imagining it, the words that followed confirmed it.

"I’m finished, but...it was nice. To have someone awake when I got in." The words were almost wistful, not a side of Tonks that he'd yet seen, one that drew his attention back to her face. Now, it was her turn to quickly drop her eyes, faint flush of colour on her cheekbones ( _nervous, I made her nervous_ ). "Doesn't happen often, given the hour, not that I expect-"

"Tonks, it's all right."

"Oh." Stopping at the reassurance, she brightened, just a little, and it was excruciating to watch and see how her expression changed, relaxed. _She’s lovely._ It wasn’t the first time Remus had had such a realisation, but it was the first time he’d allowed it to come to the surface and shape itself into such a definite form. Startled at himself in the same way that he had been for his earlier thoughts as he made them tea, the brief imagining of pale skin with droplets of rainwater, the way the curve of her back would feel beneath his hands if he held her close, Remus concluded that it was at least partially down to tiredness. He was slowly losing his filter and it might well be the intelligent thing to do to remove himself before any of what he was thinking ended up actually being spoken within her hearing. Attraction was fine, but nothing further, nothing that could be acknowledged verbally, nothing that he could ever say aloud.

This firmly set in his mind, Remus finished his drink, set the mug beside her empty one and rose from his seat, offered his hand outwards without thinking to help her up. It took Tonks a moment to register it, but then she curled fingers around his and let him draw her to her feet. Reaching for the wand sheath at her thigh, which she'd apparently just resettled over the stolen pyjamas for convenience, he watched as she gave a quick flick of her wand. Her Auror robes vanished from the floor into the nearby washing basket, leaving only a faint imprint that would be gone by morning. He knew that she would most likely deal with the robes before she went to work (and he didn’t know what time she had to be in at the Ministry, he realised, wincing at the time displayed on the nearby grandfather clock hanging over the mantelpiece). 

The fire's embers were growing low, the soft glow the only thing still illuminating the kitchen. There was no hint of the rising sun in the sky outside yet, dark and would still be for at least a few more hours. As they moved towards the door, Remus extinguished the fire in their wake. There was just enough dim, shaky grey light to see by, barely, but his eyes were sharper in the shadows than usual, and he moved with no more difficulty than he would have if he were in full daylight. He felt her hesitate, turned and offered his hand again, folding her fingers in his and finding it difficult to suppress a smile when she put the index finger of her free hand to her lips, jerking her head to the left towards the hallway. It was a clear indication not to disturb the dark expanse of closed curtains that concealed Mrs Black’s portrait. _Merlin, no_ , Remus thought. _If she wakes up and sees us, she'll wake the whole house shrieking as well. Not tonight._ It was a tense moment as they slipped past, but mercifully the curtains remained still and the hall remained silent as they ascended the stairs. 

Tonks was nearly as adept at avoiding the places that creaked and cracked as he was, though there was a close call with a small table on the second landing that left him wondering who would put such a thing there to begin with. It wasn't until they reached her doorway, two away from his, that Remus realised he'd kept her hand in his long past when he’d needed to, could have let go once they were up the stairs and their path was clearer. His body had defied the war of his mind, in its simple contact with hers. _Damn._ He relinquished his grip gently, took a step back, managed to meet the warmth of her gaze without flinching, unable to explain himself, so didn’t make any attempt to do so. "Sleep well, Tonks."

"I'll try. Goodnight, Remus." And there, a flash of mischievousness in her eyes. "Pleasant dreams." And she was gone, disappearing into her room as he walked to his, a flare of violet receding in his vision when he glanced back. When he finally settled into his own bed, he found himself tired at last, his mind a confusion of lavender hair and dark eyes and pale bruised skin under bandages and rainwater, patterns that he couldn't make sense of just yet. What remained clearest in Remus' thoughts, however, even as he began to drift, was that moment of her expression brightening at his attempt of reassurance, the warmth in his chest that had yet to recede. _Tonks._

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all feedback is welcomed. It's been quite some time since I wrote anything like this, and I've missed doing it.


End file.
